FEAR.

 
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -not absence of fear.
— Mark Twain
 

It took a week for me to keep up my courage and resist the fear.

I was physically sick for for the first few days.

I thought I was going to throw up round every corner. 

Every day I would walk past the posters I put up around town...

and I would have to tell myself twice, "Don't tear them down Jenna, don't do it."

 

I drank so much coffee throughout the week I was constantly shaking.

I cried into my pillow more times than is appropriate for a thirty year old.

This thing I've done has devastated me, emotionally.

I ripped open pieces of my heart and pinned them up and down the Avenue.

It takes some time to conquer the fear.

 

I'm here to tell you it's not one act of courage.  

It's a thousand whispers saying "I can do it."

It's a hundred acts of bravery.

It's the many choices you make,

in the quiet moments of the day.

 

It's not going to feel the way you thought it would feel.

It's not going to look the way you thought it would look.

It's going to be different.

 

Embrace the imperfections.

Embrace the madness.

Embrace the vulnerability.

It will take you into the dark 

and then back out into light.

 

The key is not to ignore the fear,

but to take it on, 

stare it in the face

and take it down.

 

It's time to get real.

It's time to buck up.

It's time for decaf.

 

Artists, if you're not following @brainpicker on twitter for daily inspiration, you got to.

Writers, get out of your own head and spend an hour coloring.  It really helps.  You should grab "Secret Paris" by Zoe de Las Cases, it's gorgeous.